how to ask for money as a wedding gift 💰
Asking for money in lieu of a wedding gift has always been a bit of a contentious issue. Traditional etiquette says it’s poor taste, and let’s face it, it can feel super awkward. The good news is asking for money has become commonplace and is no longer the massive faux pas those etiquette articles would have you believe. Times have changed, relationships have changed, lifestyles have changed and honestly, in my 10+ years of creating wedding stationery, I don’t think I have worked with a couple who hasn’t asked for money in one way or another.
Also, the majority, if not all, of your guests will want to give you a gift, so if you don’t say anything, I guarantee people will ask. So whether you will be including a wishing well on the day, have created an online cash registry, or want to give your guests the option to make a donation to a charity instead, let go of the discomfort and state your preference. Keep in mind though, there is still a right and wrong way to ask. I’m not a fan of trying to hide behind those gross rhymes and poems that come up when you Google, I think the key is to keep it simple, honest, and gracious. Don’t tell guests what to do, or presume they will be bringing a gift in the first place. Simply make a suggestion and give them the option.
Finding the right words can be tough, so below is some wording examples you can steal, alter or use for inspiration when writing your gift preferences.
WORDING EXAMPLES
WISHING WELL
Your love, support, and good vibes on our wedding day are the only presents we need. If you wish to honour us with a gift though, there will be a wishing well available on the day for cards and best wishes.
Your presence at our wedding is more important to us than a gift. However, for those that insist, a wishing well will be placed at our reception.
We want you to know that it is your presence not your presents that we value. However, if you would generously like to gift us something, we will have a wishing well available on the day which will go towards our future together/first home/renovations/honeymoon.
online registry
Please know gifts are not expected or required, we are just excited to have you with us on our big day. However, if you would like to help us kickstart married life, there are a few things we’re saving for and your help would be the ultimate gift. We have set up a cash registry with (name) and we would be so grateful for your generosity. (Link).
We're incredibly lucky to have everything we already need, and then some. So, in lieu of traditional gifts, we've created a honeymoon registry and we would love for you to help us create memories that will last a lifetime. Simply visit (link) and follow the prompts.
Please know that your presence at our wedding is present enough. However, for those of you asking for gift ideas, we’ve created an online cash/honeymoon registry that will go towards setting up our new home/creating unforgettable memories/kickstarting our family. (Link).
CHARITY DONATION
Please know that your presence on the day is present enough. However, for those guests who would like to honour us with something, we’d love for you to consider a charity donation in lieu of a gift. We’ve chosen (charity) because (reason) and any amount you can spare would be greatly appreciated. You can make a donation online here (link) and all donations are tax-deductible.
Friends and family know we are both incredibly passionate about (chosen cause). For this reason, we’ve set up a fund with (chosen charity) in place of a wishing well. For those who have expressed an interest in giving us a wedding gift, you may make a donation online here (link).
We are blessed with absolutely everything we need. In lieu of gifts, we ask for your help in giving back on our wedding day. We’ve linked the charities below that are closest to our hearts. A small donation to one of these causes (or one of your own choosing) in lieu of a gift would be so generous.
NO GIFTS
We really appreciate the effort and expense you’ll be going to in order to join us in (destination). We simply cannot request gifts on top of everything else. Please just come and celebrate with us.
We are lucky enough to have everything we need so we have decided not to request wedding gifts. Simply bring yourself and your dancing shoes, we can’t wait to celebrate with you!
All we want is your company and the memories the day brings. We politely request no gifts.
